Holy Week Reflections

Maundy Thursday is my most favorite service at Blackhawk Church...

It is a special time of reflection, music, prayer, communion and worship that I cherish.

Tonight I took a huge step toward forgiveness, 

knowing it is a process of prayer, and tears,

"letting go", healing and being thankful...

my heart feels ready to journey on 

I have so many memories of Holy Weeks growing up as a pastor's daughter.

My most vivid ones in Plymouth Congregational Church in Dodgeville 

with the beautiful stained glass windows,

 and singing hymns and anthems from the choir loft...

going along when Dad took communion to elderly members of our church, 

hearing the ancient words and deep meaning in the sacrament...

feeling the darkness and silence of Good Friday...

as an adult I've learned to appreciate the "day in between"

before the exquisite joy of the Risen Savior

Easter was Dad's favorite holiday...

and it remains mine as well.

when I am weak, HE is strong enough

it just wasn't a good day

raw emotions and pain

so much stress built up

tears that wouldn't end...

and I was a table host for week 2 of Starting Point at church

I felt so weak, 

just a mess

but I know with certainty

 that God uses people who are weak,

people who are a mess

so I plugged in my ipod, 

hit shuffle on my "Crying Out to God" playlist,

 and prayed as I got into my car

that God would have me hear what I needed to hear.

I was reminded that I am a believer,

that He makes beautiful things out of dust,

that He won't let go,

that He holds my heart,

that He is strong enough,

and that I am a child of the one true King.

And yes, 

even though I was weak and a mess,

He strengthened me

and used me in His wonderful work

and I am thankful

moving forward on my journey

pushing off from familiar shores

new experiences ahead

leaving behind what is safe and comfortable

moving forward on the journey

realizing new potential

I feel like I'm on the edge of something.

I'm not sure what the future holds, but I'm open to the possibilities.

I do know for sure that I am where I am supposed to be in my job, 

and am inspired to "give back" out of a spirit of gratitude.

Hold My Heart

February 7th is a hard day for me

it was the morning that my dad left this earth

leaving a huge void in my family, in my life, in my heart

lyrics from Tenth Avenue North's song "Hold My Heart"

will forever remind me of that day

"one tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain, 

could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart?

one life, that's all I am

right now I can barely stand

if you're everything you say you are

would you come close and hold my heart?"

It's been three years

so many changes

and his legacy lives on...

I see so much of him in my precious daughters

and feel his spirit with me always

I look in the mirror hoping for a glimpse of his quiet strength in my own eyes

February 7th

Abba Father, you received him

I pray for the courage to embrace the day

missing and loving my daddy

Father God, please come close and hold my heart

2014... New Year...

Beauty in bleakness...

perhaps that is a worthy resolution or hope for this year...

to be open and seeking beauty even in the bleakest moments.

Dwelling in hurts, disappointments, and fear is not healthy or productive...

I'm gathering my talents and gifts to use in a new venue.

Living in the present, 

knowing there is darkness, 

yet embracing the light that overcomes it.

Beauty in bleakness...

Live and Celebrate the Moments... Christmas 2013

The moment when God gave us the gift of his Son...not in a palace with celebratory fanfare, but in a simple setting, no less special, proclaimed by the angels to the shepherds.
God uses ordinary people and things for His "moments".

As I look back over this year, it is the stories and moments that come to mind.
Each one of us has stories to share, and my wish is to have you experience these moments of our family in a visual way.

2014 approaches, and my hope is to listen more, search for meaning and not stuff, show love and compassion, and focus on gratitude.

Wishing you all the true gifts of love and joy in this Christmas season and always!

Letting Go

I have trouble letting go...

of dreams, even when reality is crystal clear

of roles, even when the fit is no longer healthy

of relationships, even when there is dishonesty and pain

My default action is to hang on.

I fear disconnection...

yet as I release and let go

the hurt will pass

my heart and hands are open

joy will come again

and God who is unchanging and forever true

will not let go