Letting Go

I have trouble letting go...

of dreams, even when reality is crystal clear

of roles, even when the fit is no longer healthy

of relationships, even when there is dishonesty and pain

My default action is to hang on.

I fear disconnection...

yet as I release and let go

the hurt will pass

my heart and hands are open

joy will come again

and God who is unchanging and forever true

will not let go

Once Upon A Time

An avid fiction reader all my life
I am fascinated by stories and details...
And there is always a "back-story"...

I read favorite books multiple times, and view favorite movies in the same way...
Perhaps unconsciously searching for something I may have missed the first time,
or simply to recapture a feeling...

There have been times in my life where I have been "blind sided" by a "back story"...
and in the resulting hurt
my story is always the same...
unceasing questions which can't be spoken aloud
and self blame

Vacations are Vital!

Vacations are vital, and Door County is a beautiful destination

breathtaking views

relaxed schedule

somewhat "disconnected"

excellent food

new experiences and things to laugh about

cleansing for my soul

Vacations are vital

Self Discovery

Self Discovery happens unexpectedly sometimes, but nearly always includes examination of my heart.

It's been a great summer, overall, but there have been times when I've truly felt a void.
It became crystal clear to both Tom and me recently when a former student of mine happened to be having lunch at Perkins when we were. It was fun to visit with her and her mom, and after we left there, Tom said to me, "you really miss kids"!  I do!! Not even having a grown-up kid at home this summer, and living in a neighborhood that is older, I miss kid contact!!  That explains why I am excited to go back to teaching, and why as I enjoy my laid-back summer, the "Back to School" ads really aren't bothering me as they have in the past.

Another self discovery that came to me around the same time is that I'm great at support roles.
I'm not a star. I love supporting others behind the scenes.
I was talking about a role I'd had in my former teaching position supporting a colleague, and how much I'd enjoyed that...
then realized that is exactly the role I play as a course mentor for Full Sail!  No wonder it's such a good fit for me!

Song in my heart

I never really got it before I met Song...
I didn't understand how a dog would work her way into my heart, or how she'd get me to do things that I never thought I would, like allowing her on our bed.  Song makes me feel like I am one of the most important people in her world, and when she is staying with us, my world pretty much revolves around her! Such unconditional love.
My precious "grand-dog"... I'll miss her when she goes home tomorrow!

Happy Fathers' Day Daddy

Happy Fathers' Day, Daddy.
How I wish I could call you, just to hear your voice again.
How I wish I could hug you and let you know how much I love you and miss you.
This past year has held so many blessings. I know you would be so happy knowing that I love my job in McFarland, and I know that you would be pleased with the way Tom and I are helping Mom.

I felt your presence at Jessica's wedding, and know beyond the shadow of a doubt how much you would love Will. You'd be very proud of Jessica's compassionate care of your friends at Oakwood, her depth of faith, and the amazing woman she is becoming.
You'd also be so proud of Brittany.  She's grown so much in her faith in the past year.  You'd love her adventurous spirit and her heart for people in bondage.  She's creative and fun, and you'd enjoy hearing about her adventures.

Daddy, you molded me in so many ways, and I thank you for being the kind of father who not only pointed me to my Father in Heaven, but made Abba Father real to me on Earth as well.
I will love you always and forever, and someday we'll be reunited...save a spot for me next to you!

Our family has increased...

It was a glorious celebration of love and joy

May 4, 2013

Jessica and William McIlhenny

I've reflected a lot on Jessica's life,

remembering my prayers with her and for her,

thankful that God held her when Tom and I couldn't,

and praising HIM for bringing her to this place of becoming a wife to Will

Because to me, pictures always speak louder than words,

here are some of my favorites to commemorate this life event on my journey.