The official letter was not a surprise
and all hope of it being rescinded was dashed this past Wednesday.
I'm struggling with varied emotions...
I've given in to storms of tears...
the surreal feeling that this was all just a bad dream,
that I don't really have to be writing a cover letter, and answer questions.
When I was hired in Evansville in February of 2008
it was my dream job...a perfect combination of general and instrumental music teaching.
I was impressed by the longevity of teachers in the district,
and truly felt that I would be there until I retired...
UNLESS I CHOSE TO LEAVE
That probably sums it up....this change is not my choice
How NOT to take this personally, even as I know it has no reflection on my teaching...
hard to think about "selling myself" when my confidence is at an all time LOW
and worries creep in...what if?...
yet blessings have come from changes that were not my choice
and I do believe God has a plan.
I remind myself to take one step at a time
and trust...
Kathy, I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with this blow. I completely understand how this can shake one's confidence, just when one needs to hold it together and believe in ones self. So... yeah, you are more than entitled to your emotions and sense of loss... but, I know you, you'll find a way to turn this from a disappointment to advantage. You are too good and too passionate to not find your way through this struggle. Hang in there, my friend.
ReplyDeleteSad, sad, sad. Hard to be excited about the possibilities that change presents when it is such an unwelcome change.
ReplyDeleteYou are held in so many hearts; I hope our love will carry you through this.
I love YOU--and I HATE lay-offs! B/c all those feelings you're feeling are the inevitable result. (Welcome to being a normal person--AGAIN!!) I really wish God hadn't given you so many opportunities this year to get so very good at handling sucky things.
ReplyDeletePlease be as nice to yourself as you are to everyone else! & let us know if there is anything we can do? :)