Happy Birthday Daddy!

Dad's Birthday 2010

My Dad was born on January 30, 1938.
Birthdays were a big deal in our family!  We had the favorite food of the birthday celebrant for supper and ALWAYS had cake! My dad loved cake and I inherited that trait as well!
Last year we celebrated Dad's birthday a day early with a trip to Aurora, IL to visit my brother and his family. It was special that we were all together, and Dad really enjoyed watching Lara and Lidija (then 19 months old) play.

Jessica drove Mom and Dad's car that day, and back in Madison, we met up at the Park and Ride so that we could take her back to Edgewood. It was snowing. I remember getting out and going over to the passenger side of their car. I hugged my dad, gave him a kiss and wished him a happy birthday...
never dreaming it would be the last time.

I'll always remember my dad's birthday and be thankful for his life... yet wish I could give him a hug and kiss, say happy birthday...and tell him how much I love him still...

Walking the Path

It felt good to walk my path again today.  

This was just what I needed... the cold fresh air, the brilliant sun, the glistening snow...

the familiar sights transformed.

 It's been a bad week... lots of stress, worry, self doubt, fear...

I even began to wonder if what I do and give, means anything.

And then there were my music students, so excited to learn on the SMART Board, not afraid to be silly as we sang a Groundhog song, laughing with me as I changed the words to one of our winter songs...

(that snow makes me "cranky", and winter is only nice in FLORIDA!)

the precious first graders who ask to work on the "super fast" song for their program 

(their shining eyes and progress giving me goosebumps!)

Yesterday an EMDT grad I had mentored in the past contacted me, 

wanting to talk with me, to ask for prayer...

and that touched me deeply.

The connections I make, the things I do and give...

they do have meaning...

I'll rest in that

and with God beside me, 

continue walking the path.

Celebrating a Life

Recently I attended a memorial service celebrating the life of a close friend of our family. The setting was familiar, as the Tree of Life Chapel at Oakwood was where we had Dad's service almost a year ago.
But this time I was there to support our friends, to remember special times with their family, to hug my precious goddaughter and know that she is feeling the loss of her grandfather keenly, as my own daughters still do.  My friend said "our dads are together in Heaven"...and we take comfort in that,  knowing that both of them are free from disease and celebrating...maybe even playing dominoes!

Almost to Acceptance

I have a favorite path I walk regularly in the midst of corn fields and ponds. 

With my iPod and my camera I walk the paved path, which if it could speak, could tell you of the tears I've shed, the days when I walked into the wind, 

when I have cried out to God and searched for beauty and meaning. 

I think many thoughts and listen for God's voice as I walk.

Today I smiled in the sunshine, marveling at our atypical winter... 40 some degrees in January?

I was surprised with the thought that I'm almost to acceptance. 

In a way that scares me, 

but emerging from grieving does not mean that the missing will be gone, just less raw. 

In the past month I have experienced such incredible healing and restoration, 

and I am so thankful for that! 

Smiles and laughter come more naturally.  

Still on the path, and almost to acceptance.